Thursday, April 29, 2010

A letter to the other me...

Dear Shiro chan:

Hi! I'm your other half, the dark side of you and i wanted to say that i fucking hate you!
I hate that you r pathetic, lettin some biatch givin both of us shit we don deserve!
I hate that you r soft, let other bossing you and think that's ok coz they're your so-called friends. yea, rite, mates. Mates that you don need to be kind of.
I hate that you r stupid and naive, believing in some nasty myth called "friendship" and "love" and "family".
I hate that you just keep quiet and tolerate instead of snapping and telling those annoying things off coz them r gettin on your nerves.
I hate that you think about others more than your selfselves! Fuck those hypocrites! Why would you care if your words hurt them? Why should you care anyway? coz they dun care if their words or attitude had hurt you. They DUN care! So wakie wakie, stop dreaming that they'll care coz apprently they dun give a damn shit about your feelings.
You can feel it too, aren't cha? That you can't take it anymore and just wanted to be alone and be with those who care for you and treat you right.
And you have so much going on around you, you don need more attitude and shit from those who don deserved your love.
Yes, you are changing. Be it more or less, better or worse. You've changed coz you learn from the best of the best.
I know you hate me too for being so negative and angsty.
sorry, kiddo. This is me and this is you.
Faced it, as much as you don like it.
You've got this side of you.
the grown up side of you.
the bitter and realistic side of you.
I wish i can always stay as you but sadly, i can't.
I hate myself too.
i'm tired of being pushed around and just take watever shit ppl give me.
i wanted to be feel from the suffucating love from my family and run away.
I wanted that so much i can taste it on my tongue.
I'm scared shitless to be an adult and took up all the responsibilities as an adult.
I'm so lost in the middle of nowhere, drifting in pitch black and cant find a way to go on. I dun wanna go on. Where will it led me? a better place or into deep misery?
Angst.
Fear.
Lost.
Despair.
Stressed.
I just wanted to stay as child.
Innocent and naive.
I just wanted to closing up again coz the ppl thingy is makin me sick and weary.


yours,
Kuro sama

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